Wednesday, May 14, 2008
keep bleeding, keep bleeding
haiz, nose bleed again...... =(
at first it only bled a bit, so i thought it normal mah,
than who know after a while the blood started flowing like water tap,
i was standing beside the basin and my hands was like covered wz blood la........
actually i had a pix of my hand full of blood,thinking of posting it up but come and think of it,
it too bloody la so in e end nv post onto the blog haha
tried calling duty phone but can't get through,
think haven't divert ba, so sms anthony instead,
went to see my family doc at 10,
haiz as usual la, he'll start giving me his doctor theory as why i will bleed etc etc la {well he say the same thing every time i goes to him}
now he's only worrying that medication can't control my white blood cells from over-growing,
well but i did took my pills on time mah, even those bloody horrible bitter liquid form thingy i also did took them on time mah,
don know la, my family doc asked me to finish up my medication first, after that than see how,
he also say that while i'm on this medication, but right i shouldn't be bleeding anymore,
but no eh, i still bleed just that ytdy one was a lot, a lot
the usual day only a bit, well for me is normal la,
i told him that, and he say it quite worrying la,
he say now he really scared that i might have leukaemia.....
cos he say nose bleed, me having bone/joint pains when ever i bleed are the early sign and symptoms of Leukemia...........
but than have to go for further test again, so e only thing i can do now is to take my medication on time,
and go back to him after i had finish my whole course of medication,
i still haven't told my parent yet, well c how la,
can hide for how long, than hide for how long,
no point telling them mah,
they can't do anything much also but only add onto their burden......
while i was walking home frm the clinic, my mind was in blank la,
cos my family doc told me b4 i might have Leukemia when i first when to him mah,
at first when he told me that i just refused to believe, i always tell myself only red blood cells not enough mah,
no big deal one la, as long as i eat my medication on time can ald,
i always force myself don go and keep thinking of the word {Leukemia}, everything is fine,
red blood cells low only mah, just eat my medication on time can ald,
than the doctor brought up the word again, than everything that i don wann to face just came to me eventually.............
he did advise me to tell my family members, but i told him i will only told them once it really confirmed that i have...........
feel very helpless now, really very helpless........
first time was in tears while updating blog...................................
Bernadette Karen remembered on 03:50.
